


Alive but lost

by SWModdy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Amnesia, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Parings undecided for the future, SithAu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-06-01 12:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 17,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15142778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SWModdy/pseuds/SWModdy
Summary: When Sith Lord Qui-Gon Jinn hunts down what will be his eight Jedi he does not expect to be greeted by the very familiar red hair and eyes of the man under the hood. Now everyone has questions and answers are hard to find.





	1. Familiar to me

The little Jedi was fast.

Qui-Gon would admit that as he tracked after him as fast as he could, trying to ignore the tingles of familiarity as he was trying to close the distance between them in the swampy landscape the hooded man had escaped into.

It was hard though, feet squelching down into the loose ground, the musky smell of rotting swamp around them and a bit of gas even from pockets that tried to invade their senses.

And Qui-Gon was both tall and heavy which meant that he was having a harder time than the Jedi keeping track with him. But he wouldn’t let him get away, Qui-Gon hadn’t let a single Jedi escape him ever since the remaining Jedi pockets had killed his apprentice more than seven years ago in a staged coup against Naboo of all places though supposedly there was a Jedi temple hidden there somewhere.

Obi-Wan had been his pride and joy, the redheaded apprentice a delight to anyone who meet him with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and a sly grin on his lips. Even Xanatos liked Obi-Wan for the sly cunning the redhead exhibited with both Yan and Feemor enjoying his obvious cleverness and interest in academic.

Qui-Gon had often returned from meeting with the high council to find Obi-Wan serving tea to Yan while having philosophical discussions.

And then the Jedi had karking killed him, ripped Qui-Gon’s apprentice away from him and dashed his heart at the same time as it had taken months before Qui-Gon was able to leave the temple for any work.

And he came back to work cruel, hunting the Jedi down whenever he found rumor of them and returning to the temple with their lightsabers on his belt as trophies.

Seven years and he had fifteen sabers in his quarters belonging to various Jedi stashed in a box. ‘And I’m about to add a sixteen one.’ Qui-Gon thought grimly to himself as he reached into his belt, digging out the bolas he had barely remembered to bring.

Letting himself sink a bit, he swung the bolas over his head and threw it before continuing pursuit, a savage and pleased grin crossing his face as the Jedi cried out in shock as it wrapped around the mans leg, falling as long as he was (which wasn’t much really compared to Qui-Gon) into the loose muck and water of the bog as the cords wrapped tightly around his legs.

He noted with some discontent that the Jedi managed to catch himself with his arms but no matter, he’d be dead soon as Qui-Gon pulled his saber to his hand and activated it, blood lust roaring in his veins as he closed the distance with his long gait.

And then he froze, eyes widening in shock.

The Jedi had flipped himself over and was desperately trying to get the bolas loose, his hood down from the fall and sopping wet.

Red strands of hair was practically glued to his face and neck from the marshland water and green eyes were wide but…

Qui-Gon knew that face, he knew the shape of that nose and the cupid bow of those lips.

There were changes of course, there was a sign of stubble, the hair was longer than Qui-Gon ever remembered seeing and there was a large scar cutting down from the left temple, over the cheek and right down to the corner of the lip that was a deep shade of pink and puckered in a way that spoke of a infection at one time.

Deactivating his red saber, Qui-Gon numbly closed the last few steps even as the Jedi reached for his own saber in a desperate gambit.

“Obi-Wan.” He rumbled, watching how the Jedi froze with his hand hovering uncertainly over his saber, staring up at Qui-Gon as he continued to sit there in the wet muck, staring up in confusion and wary suspicion. “It is you, my apprentice.” Qui-Gon breathed out.

Confusion growing, green eyes only observed Qui-Gon before Obi-Wan finally shook himself and pointed the saber at Qui-Gon. “Don’t get close to me Sith.” He spat out, arms trembling a bit, though if it was from exhaustion or fear was anyone’s guess.

Heart thundering in his chest, Qui-Gon knelt down slowly, ignoring the wet ground and Obi-Wan’s white saber. “I’m not going to harm you Obi-Wan.” He whispered, raising his hand and waving carefully. “Put your saber away.”

The hands holding the saber trembled, resisted before it powered down and Obi-Wan dropped his hands in his lap, not putting the weapon fully away as he stared at Qui-Gon with suspicion that outright hurt and yet…

Qui-Gon couldn’t bring himself to care, staring at the others face. “How can this be? You died… I felt you die in the Force.” He whispered, a mix of elation and hope appearing in his chest.

Obi-Wan just stared back in growing confusion. What must he be thinking…


	2. Answers we need

All Jedi know and are wary, (not scared, never scared, after all they are Jedi and they do not fear as that leads to the darkside), of the name Qui-Gon Jinn, also known as Darth Vindicus. It was one of the first Sith names Obi-Wan had ever learned when he woke up seven years ago in a little hall surrounded by healers and other Jedi.

After all, Qui-Gon Jinn had apparently killed Obi-Wan’s former master, a woman by the name Travis.

Or so he was told at least by Master Skyra, as Obi-Wan had no memory of it. It was only luck that had allowed Obi-Wan to live as apparently the Sith had not been aware that there had been another Jedi on site at all and Obi-Wan had been whisked home by droids.

Once again, that was what they said at least as his memories didn’t return.

He did find it rather odd that there seemed to be a lock on his memories though and a very symptomatic councilor Xanas had explained that the trauma of his master’s death when the severing of the bond had happened made Obi-Wan go comatose and had required the healers to put a blockage on the memory of the bond severing as it had.

He hadn’t questioned that… much.

Found it odd though.

And he did have a rather deep head wound turned which would explain the memory loss, outside of the medical kind, droids were not known to be able to care for injured parties of the fleshy variety.

But now he wondered as the supposed ruthless Qui-Gon Jinn stared at him in the reeking, gassy swamp with a gaze as if he’d seen the birth of the Force itself. Because while Obi-Wan had no memories from before he was rather sure he had never meet Sith Lord as a Jedi.

Which meant that this man had meet him before the memories went away.

Which brought on a whole new flood of questions that Obi-Wan did not like the implication of as he sat there with his cobbled together saber of the parts Jedi had given him, staring at the yellow eyed man as said yellow bleed out to leave behind the deepest blue Obi-Wan had ever seen, the bog water making its home in their clothes as they sat there as if they had no care in the world except to look at each other.

He grew tense when the man slowly reached towards his belt, hand tightening on his saber as he knew that the bolas wrapped around his legs still must have come from said belt.

But out of the belt came a small holo device that Vindicus pressed on to light up and oh…

Mouth falling open a bit, Obi-Wan stared at the familiar if chubby face grinning back at him, the holo leaving the colors fainter than the real thing of course but unmistakably a young Obi-Wan without his head and facial scar. Another press and a fresh holo image.

Each press of the button had a fresh image of Obi-Wan in varying ages, sometimes with others but mostly only him until the last one.

Jinn and him, the mans arms wrapped around Obi-Wan’s stomach as he had clearly lifted Obi-Wan up as they grinned at whoever had taken the picture with straw in both their hair. The last image more than anything left Obi-Wan feeling dizzy as he slowly returned to looking at the Sith, eyes wide with the saber laying in his lap in a lax hand.

“…I think we have much to speak about Obi-Wan.” The man murmured quietly before settling the device into his belt and reaching to Obi-Wan’s legs to undo the bolas.

Too stunned to really react much, Obi-Wan gave a dumb nod as his legs were freed and even accepted the hand Jinn offered to be pulled up as he stood on wobbly legs. For a long moment Jinn didn’t let go off his hand, clinging to it almost desperately Obi-Wan would say before he finally let go only to hold onto the redhead’s shoulder with his huge mitten, guiding him back towards where they had come from as Obi-Wan hooked his saber onto his belt.

A part of Obi-Wan’s brain that had not shut down under the shock was reminding him that they were on their way back to the port town he had originally been lurking about trying to get transport off the planet.

Now however he wasn’t so sure he wanted to leave because Jinn had holo images off him, many of them actually, on his person.

Obi-Wan had so many questions, some which had plagued him for years ever since he woke up in the Jedi temple… and Qui-Gon Jinn had answers.

And Obi-Wan wanted them, regardless the cost they may have as he sedately walked with the Sith’s hand grasping his shoulder tightly as if he feared Obi-Wan would once more run away… or just simply disappear maybe?

Glancing at the other man as he pulled his foot out of yet another squelching muck gathering, he meet the blue eyes once more with Jinn not looking away once as a soft if uncertain smile crossed the Sith’s face.

Meekly, Obi-Wan returned it. 

He needed answers.


	3. The cafe

Rubbing his fingers against the mug slowly, Obi-Wan stared at the tea in it while avoiding the gaze of the person across from him as Qui-Gon Jinn had taken him to a cafe in the village. During their walk they had dried out mostly though Obi-Wan could still feel certain damp spots and figured that the Sith could feel the same even if he wasn’t showing it with his dark blue clothes.

The smell of swamp still clung to them but they weren’t the only ones as there were several swamp workers about who also reeked the same way.

Still, Jinn had opted for them to take one of the small booths outside the cafe to not annoy the patrons on the inside and Obi-Wan thought he’d seen the barista give him a grateful look when the Sith had said that while taking their teas and scones to bring outside.

Obi-Wan had just mutely nodded, agreeing.

He had been all too aware of the suspicious glances he was gaining as this was a Sith controlled planet and he was clearly _not_ a Sith.

But he had a lightsaber, one he had been hiding before but now hung on his belt in clear view.

He had a feeling only Jinn’s clear Sith status was keeping them from calling authorities.

So he’s mutely pleased to be able to wear it in the open as most planets are Sith inclined and run or under the thumbs of the hutts.

“You should eat.” Came the quiet rumble, Obi-Wan looking up from his tea to look at Vindicus as the man stared at him with those deep blue eyes that he knew turned yellow with the Force. “Its still a bit warm and I’ve tracked you for two days, you can’t have had much time to eat in that time.” Jinn added.

Hesitating a bit but all to aware of how right the other was, Obi-Wan picked up the scone and took a bite out of it, trying to pretend for manners still.

That had always been important to him, manners, it felt like a part of him to know manners and how to present himself in front of others.

Though he did stretch himself to lick his fingers free of crumbs before he looked slowly up at Jinn again while closing the tea in his hands once more, lifting it to take a small sip and let it sooth him as best it could. “What… happens now?” He questioned quietly.

“That depends on what you have to tell me.” Jinn returned just as quietly, staring at him.

That sent of conflicting thoughts in Obi-Wan’s head.

On one hand, he should escape, run, get away and to the Jedi temple where he would be safe and become the first Jedi to escape Qui-Gon Jinn. Though how he could now that he was in the middle of town where Sith were actually approved of would be difficult or even impossible as few would hide him.

Yet on the other hand… Jinn knew his name, seemed to know him better than anyone in the Jedi temple ever had. Jinn had answers to his past and maybe, just maybe to his future too.

Letting out a harsh breath, Obi-Wan finally nodded to himself at his decision and levered a weary look at Jinn. “As far as I’m aware, I’m a Jedi, I have been for life. But I’m also very aware that I don’t have any memories past the age of fifteen and that I have a blockage on some of my memories that I was told was for healing purpose.” He stared at the Sith.

Said Sith was staring at him in return, obviously stunned.

Picking up the pieces of his courage, Obi-Wan pressed on. “And I saw those pictures of yours. Those are older than my memories… which leads me to believe… the Jedi lied to me.” He bit his lip, touching the scar crossing down his cheek from his temple to his mouth. “The interesting part then is, did they take advantage of an injury or did they cause my memory loss.”

Blue eyes blazed yellow suddenly and Obi-Wan sat back in his chair, clinging to the cup even as Jinn took a deep breath to restrain himself, closing those eyes as they sat in silence for a long moment.

Finally Jinn spoke, through gritted teeth. “I’m taking you to Coruscant to our temple. I will hear no argument about this as you _will_ come with me.” He growled out.

Taking a small sip as he wondered about the use of ‘our temple’, Obi-Wan nodded before realizing the man still had his eyes closed. Sighing to himself, he spoke up instead. “You shan’t have one, I will come… I need answers just as much.” He whispered out, glancing down at the table as he took another sip only to choke a bit when a large hand gently touched his cheek, mapping out the scar with care.

Obi-Wan could count on one hand the amount of people that had touched him that kindly in the last seven years and instead of fleeing, he leaned into it, letting out a quiet noise of shock and ever so slight desperation as those flickering eyes observed him with a bittersweet smile on Jinn’s lips.


	4. Not a nexus cub

Slowly descending the ramp, Jinn held his chin high, walking with the same distinguished blank expression as he always did. Or well, as was the custom of the last seven years but that was as close as always to most now.

In the hanger Sith of all ranks quietly observed him, trying to get a good look at the silk and brocade clothed Lord’s belt to see if he had snagged another Jedi while out.

However…

The man stopped at the bottom of the ramp and frowned, turning around to peer up it.

“Think he’s bought home another nexus cub?” Quinlan whispered to a fellow knight who shrugged in return and wiped oil off her face as best she could. Darth Vindicus was as known for bringing home dangerous strays to tend to as he was for bringing home Jedi sabers.

“Who knows what he has this time, its Jinn. We all know he went bizarre and scary after Kenobi got killed.” She whispered as quietly as she could, an excited grin on her lips. “Think he got a new saber?”  The weequay added quickly as Quinlan snorted, trying not to think about Obi-Wan too hard.

Anyone who valued their life were quiet while gossiping when it came to the name Kenobi around Qui-Gon Jinn lest they wanted to loose their heads.

Snorting, Quinlan shrugged while picking up a wrench. “Who knows if he found another Jedi, I’m more interested what he’s brought home, maybe a baby rancor for all we know.” He smirked as Jinn spoke up.

“You can’t hide there the entire time you know, come along we need to see the council.” He called up, provoking curiosity and interest from several Sith as from the way the man was speaking it was clear whatever he brought was sentient at least.

Quinlan just raised his brow boredom, wondering what _charity_ case the man had picked up now.

And then he dropped the wrench from nerveless fingers as a redhead slowly made his way down the ramp after Jinn, one hesitant step after the other in ragged, thin wore clothes that had seen better day and a scar that crossed from temple to lip.

The weequay beside him went ramrod straight, staring. “It can’t be…” She gasped.

“…Obi-Wan?” Quinlan whispered.

()()()

The nine year old stared at his ‘brother’.

Or well technically by blood they weren’t brothers but Obi-Wan was part of Qui-Gon’s lineage and Anakin had been handpicked to become the mans next apprentice, the first one since Obi-Wan had supposedly died.

But now Obi-Wan was back!

He was everything Count Dooku, Xanatos and Feemor had told Anakin when they had spoken together and they had shared about their own lineage and the reason for Qui-Gon’s practically obsessive hate towards Jedi, spoken about the brave and cunning and beautiful apprentice Obi-Wan had been and now Anakin could see it for himself where he sat quietly in the antechamber with the Sith acolytes guarding him as the council spoke with Master Qui-Gon.

He wasn’t cowering despite having no memories and having believed himself a Jedi for seven years, he wasn’t avoiding anyone’s gaze and he wasn’t shifting around nervously.

No, Obi-Wan was sitting with his head held high and his spine straight, his eyes shifting slowly and calmly between the guards and the doors as he waited.

No wait, now he was looking at Anakin. “…I’m rather sure that I don’t know you. You seem a bit on the young side to have known me.” The amnesiac redhead murmured thoughtfully, the facial scar stretching and bunching as he spoke.

The opportunity presented itself so well as Qui-Gon had warned Anakin not to overwhelm Obi-Wan but now Obi-Wan had given Anakin a chance!

Trusting his hand forward, Anakin beamed at him. “I’m Anakin Skywalker, I’m part of your lineage!” He chirped happily.

Clearly confused, Obi-Wan slowly took the hand. “I… you are?” He questioned in a puzzled manner.

Nodding enthusiastically while shaking the hand with both of his, feeling the saber calluses and scars, Anakin continued beaming. “I’m to be Master Qui-Gon’s next apprentice. So I’m your younger brother!”

Startled, Obi-Wan dropped Anakin hand in clear shock. “I have a lineage?” He asked, a tiny note of… desperation? In his voice.

Opening his mouth to answer, Anakin mouth snapped shut as the chamber doors opened to Qui-Gon standing there. “Obi-Wan, come.” He rumbled before looking at Anakin. “Stay.” He said sternly and that was a direct order the blond was not about to disobey as he settled his hands in his lap and nodded.

Ever so slowly, Obi-Wan got to his feet while looking between Anakin and Qui-Gon. “… I have a lineage?” He asked again, confused.

That confusion softened Qui-Gon expression fully as he held out his hand to the redhead. “Yes, you do. You have many who has missed you, many who calls you family… but for now you need to meet the council, come along.” He rumbled, his hand settling on Obi-Wan’s shoulder once close enough to lead him inside with the doors shutting behind them to leave Anakin with the acolytes once more.

It was going to long wait… good thing Anakin bought along his pilot game!


	5. Overwhelming

Wrapping his arm around the skittish man beside him, Qui-Gon pretended not to notice the tenseness of the others body that slowly went away with each second Qui-Gon’s hand lingered in a gentle hold around the shoulders until finally Obi-Wan leaned into his side to seek more affection.

After being presented to the Sith council, to the quiet awe and shock of Master Yoda and the others, the first agenda had been to bring Obi-Wan to the healers where he had been looked over.

They had been able to confirm a few of Qui-Gon’s observation that Obi-Wan was a bit undernourished but not too heavily and he had a bad cavity that was making eating harder on him. But worse was the block on Obi-Wan’s memories that they had closely examined, finding long scarred over injuries to the redhead’s mind that spoke of mental tampering over time by someone proficient in the mental manipulation of the Force.

Because of the scars the Sith healers were reluctant to touch the barrier on those memories in case they ripped it open and overwhelmed Obi-Wan with the memories that were behind it which could send Obi-Wan into a coma or worse, instant brain death.

And even then they had not spoken about the physical ramification of said overwhelming if the overwhelming was only mild as it was clear from their expression that there would be some.

While at the healers though, Qui-Gon had sent Anakin off to the quartermaster with Obi-Wan’s measurements, hoping that things would go quick even though he knew the boy would be stopping by Feemor since he was fond of his fellow blond ‘brother’.

But they had ended up staying longer than Qui-Gon had assumed at the healers, Che wanting to update Obi-Wan folder now that he was there which had included everything from a blood test to a full physical and Force check by the healers, cataloging what vaccines Obi-Wan did and did not have, writing up what injuries they could still find trace of and if anything needed treatment at the moment.

It had ended up taking quite some time, especially as Che had given Obi-Wan a prescription for vitamins to take and told him to keep off his left ankle and rest it as often as possible for the foreseeable future.

It had been the quiet understanding that Obi-Wan would stay with Qui-Gon up in the council chamber so once the healers had finally be done for _now_ as they had said, Qui-Gon had tucked his robe around Obi-Wan once more before guiding him out, leading him through the temple.

The mahogany red colored robe trailed the floor because of Obi-Wan’s shorter stature but Qui-Gon couldn’t find it in him to care as he instead guided the other to what would now be their quarters, just as much to get Obi-Wan used to the Sith temple but also to observe him and make sure he was safe.

He confirmed his suspicions on where Anakin might have detoured however when the door opened, Feemor instantly appearing to cup Obi-Wan’s face with his hands as the fauna and flora interested Sith pretty much scared the living Force out of Obi-Wan. “It is _you._ Little brother.” He breathed out, stroking the redheads cheeks with his thumbs as he stared at him with wide eyes. “You’re alive.” Feemor laughed shakily.

Clinging to Qui-Gon’s robe, Obi-Wan stared back with his mouth slightly open, eyes equally wide though more from fear and surprise.

“Feemor, calm down.” Qui-Gon stepped in, carefully separating the two. “You’re scaring him.” He explained.

Taking a deep breath while stepping back, Feemor nodded. “I…right. I’ll sit on the couch. Anakin put the clothes on the table and I started a bantha stew I found in your freezer, figure you two haven’t eaten yet…” He moved further back, finally allowing them inside.

Glancing down, Qui-Gon found Obi-Wan looking up at him with wide eyes, clearly seeking comfort and support in his overwhelmed state where nothing made sense anymore as the Sith he had been taught to fear were now kind to him.

Smiling at the redhead, Qui-Gon nodded and settled a hand on a shoulder, carefully guiding him into the apartments that belonged to him. “Yes, food does sound good. And rest.”

That assurance had Obi-Wan slowly moving into the front hall so the door could close behind them, leaving Obi-Wan to meet some of his lineage once more.


	6. Starved

Pressing the cup of tea into Obi-Wan’s hands now that the man was clean, well dressed and feed, Qui-Gon smiled at him gently before reclaiming his seat beside the redhead who was doing his best not to look up from his knees and at the same time hide the trembling in his hand as he drank the tea.

Qui-Gon understood, Obi-Wan was utterly overwhelmed with everything even now.

Learning that everything he had believed was a lie and that there were people out there who cared and missed him?

Overwhelming.

It hadn’t taken long for Xanatos and Yan to show up at Qui-Gon’s quarters, both looking equally as stony faced with eyes sparkling with the need for information until they caught sight of a red head sitting on the couch.

It was enough to bring even Yan’s diamond control over his shields knocking down, shock trembling through the Force before he managed to get control.

Now they were all sitting there sans Yoda, the entire lineage with one thought forever lost to them.

“So its a mental block.” Yan mused to himself as he sat back while rubbing his chin. “Behind it honestly anything could be hiding. From the memories of what happened when you were taking to reconditioning to worse.” He frowned deeply as he said it.

“Worse?” Obi-Wan latched onto, peering at Yan through his lashes.

Yan gave him a small smile, face still sever. “The Jedi are not above desperate means, we are at war and they are feeling destruction edge keenly. It seems implausible for them to descend to dark method however I would not put them totally above torture to gain them a new member and disturb the Sith Orders member.”

“You think they tortured Obi-Wan?” Feemor leaned forward, eyes sharp.

There was a slow, elegant shrug from the man. “Its not above the realms of possibility but implausible. The more likely action from Jedi is reconditioning, an attempt to gain a member and sow discord in the Sith ranks should we encounter Obi-Wan… they didn’t count on Qui-Gon being the one to find Obi-Wan nor did they think Obi-Wan would have doubts clearly.” Yan finished up.

Obi-Wan took a sip under the threes gaze, feeling odd…

But in a good way.

These people cared about the idea of him being hurt, cared about him being damaged and it felt so long since anyone had cared outside of the very few brief acquaintances he had made among the Jedi and he wouldn’t count that as friends as much as colleagues worrying about the assistance and use he could be of.

Just as he found himself tense yet craving Qui-Gon’s touch when the older man rested his hand on Obi-Wan in some manner.

He made a low noise when Dooku reached out, stopping before he actually touched Obi-Wan from his position in the armchair. “May I?” The older Sith asked, gesturing to the scar.

Letting out a low noise, Obi-Wan nodded and turned his head, letting Yan cup his chin with one hand and carefully probe at the old scar with steady care. It allowed Obi-Wan the chance to look at Xanatos Du Crion, the raven haired male staring right back with a stern face that mellowed out into a softer smile as he noticed Obi-Wan staring at him.

Just like with Feemor, his eyes seemed to scream of affection but he was more contained than Feemor.

Finally Yan pulled back, hands falling to his lap. “Yes, if I have the right judge on this, the scar is seven years old and the Jedi took advantage of your injured state to abduct you and hide you from Qui-Gon. _How_ they managed to make the bond go dead and shroud you from Qui-Gon’s senses is a different matter.” Yan said, frowning sternly at the air as he rubbed his beard slowly with thumb and forefinger. “The truth I’m afraid to say is behind that block which we know can be dangerous to tamper with… no we leave it be and maybe Obi-Wan can eventually integrate the memories and handle them.” He smiled at Obi-Wan. “I’d rather have my grand-apprentice back in one piece now that its clear that you live, regardless if Sifo teases me that I’ve gone soft with the years.” Yan smirked heavily.

Qui-Gon let out a laugh at that. “You? Soft? I have no idea where he got that idea because at last count, you wiped the salle with both him and that twerp Krell.” He grinned.

‘…Krell?’ Obi-Wan blinked a bit at the name then shook his head, watching the four bicker even as they carefully kept an eye with Obi-Wan, trying to judge if they were overwhelming him as Obi-Wan finished the lukewarm tea.

It made him feel warmer than any tea before ever had.


	7. Painfully shy

“When you first became Qui-Gon’s padawan, you were so painfully shy you’d sit and stare at your own knees every time Feemor and I visited.” Obi-Wan looked up in surprise, blinking before shuffling a bit as he caught the dark blue eyes staring at him, those eyes softening when Obi-Wan meet them without looking away. “You’d stare just like you were doing moments ago at your own legs, listening or lost in your own thoughts, hands clenched into your own tunic or the couch.” Slowly he made his way from the doorway to the couch as Obi-Wan watched him, both of them taking each others in as much as anything though to be fair, everyone stared at Obi-Wan tense days as they tried to correlate the person in front of them with the teenager who went missing.

The constant staring had been what had driven Obi-Wan back to Qui-Gon and his quarters to hide a bit as he was uncertain how to handle it, still feeling overwhelmed.

Licking his lips, Obi-Wan tilted his head a bit. “Did I grow out of it?” He questioned, curious and wanting for details of his past.

A slow smirk curled along Xanatos lips, stretching the handsome mans circular scar a bit. “Not so much grow out of it as me and Feemor kidnapped you while you were sleeping and brought you camping on a jungle moon. Qui-Gon was so angry at us but by the end of the week and the trip, you happily accepted piggyback rides from both Feemor and I.” He settled down on the couch beside Obi-Wan.

Letting out a little laugh of disbelief, Obi-Wan stared at him, his pad forgotten in his lap. “You kidnapped me while I was asleep?” He questioned.

The other winked. “Right from these very quarters actually. We had to be so quiet so not to wake Qui-Gon, he was protective of you from the very start he came home with you. Apparently the first interaction you two had properly you had offered to blow yourself up for him.” The raven haired man shrugged.

“Was he angry at you? At us?” Obi-Wan felt his shoulders relax as he watched the man curiously while mentally noting to ask questions about _that_ story from Qui-Gon.

Waving his hand, Xanatos snorted and flopped back in his seat. “Not at you but he was certainly angry at both of us, it was hilarious until he trashed us in the training salle in front of everyone.” The raven grunted, rubbing a phantom pain of his lower ribs.

Laughing faintly, Obi-Wan shook his head in bemusement before focusing his eyes back on Xanatos. “Why did you come here?” Obi-Wan asked, smiling faintly.

“Because you’re Obi-Wan. And I’m Xanatos. And you were my brother.” Xanatos truthfully said, opening up to Obi-Wan. “And I want my brother back.” He reached out slowly and gently pressed his hand to Obi-Wan’s cheek when he didn’t flinch away. “You’ve grown and you’ve changed, without us there and you no longer know us, but we never stopped caring for you when we thought you dead. Parts of all us shattered in the time you were gone, the lineage lost you and lost parts of itself. But now you’re here, so I will take that chance with both my hands and not let go with ease.”

Staring at each other, Obi-Wan swallowed thickly before he slowly shifted on the couch to sit closer, feeling the warmth of the other as he lifted the pad a bit. “I-I was studying the layout of the temple but… maybe you would like to take me around instead?” He asked quietly, a shaky smile appearing on his face when Xanatos gave him a warm, glowing smile.

“That would be me an honor… little brother.” Xanatos whispered before leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together in a move that felt familiar and safe despite Obi-Wan having no memory of ever doing this before.

And yet…just like with Qui-Gon and his arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulders, it made him feel warm.


	8. Glimpse of hope

Looking around the garden, Obi-Wan licked his lips. “Have I been here before?” He questioned slowly before looking at Feemor with a deep frown on his face.

“Indeed, this was one of your most favorite places to meditate and gain freedom.” The blond smiled at him, gesturing around the water filled garden. “You especially enjoyed the rock garden but I think that had to do with hiding out and pelting people with smaller ones while hiding yourself.” He chuckled deeply.

Lips quirking a bit, Obi-Wan looked around some more before letting out a soft noise, making his way towards one of the trees. Holding his breath, Feemor followed after hopefully as Obi-Wan made his way over to what had been the boys favorite tree.

For a moment the redhead watched it before running his fingertips along the tree, searching until he was kneeling down, finding a small carving with ‘OBK’ near the base of the tree, almost by gnarled roots where Obi-Wan would put his head when he was a boy. “…Was hoping you’d find that.” Feemor said quietly.

Rubbing his thumb over the carving, Obi-Wan tilted his head. “I carved this when I became an apprentice, didn’t I?” He whispered, frowning a bit.

Kneeling down beside him, Feemor nodded. “You did, took us ages to find of course but Xanatos and I followed you around enough to figure it out.” He chuckled quietly before growing silent and Obi-Wan looked at him, took in a weary tiredness. Before he could ask, Feemor spoke. “When we thought you dead, we came here often and sat with the carving, there was no tomb for you, you were an apprentice and that is the fate of all apprentices, not even a memorial stone… but we mourned where your favored spots were, we dealt with our grief and our rage and sought out Jedi… not as often as Qui-Gon of course but we all have our own ways to mourn.” He added softly.

Swallowing a bit, Obi-Wan nodded, shifting to sit with his back to the tree as he watched Feemor. “…Help me meditate? Help me become free again?” He whispered, holding his breath as Feemor’s blue eyes slowly focused on him and him alone.

Just like Qui-Gon, it was a gaze of strength and character though made from a different metal.

Just as strong even if it was different.

And like the sun peering from a cloudy sky, Feemor smiled at him with softness before settling with his back to the tree too. “I would be honored little brother.”

()()()

Breathing harshly, Obi-Wan stared at the dark ceiling as Yan continued his gentle shushing motion with only light coming from the open door, the man rubbing his thumb over the others scarred temple while whispering words from the Serenno dialect that Obi-Wan felt were familiar but just could not grasp until Obi-Wan’s breathing finally slowed.

After a moment he managed to focus on the other man sitting on his bed side, gray eyes staring back before they shut in relief. “You are calm once more, good, I worried when you sent everything in the apartment rattling.” He rumbled out.

“Everything?” Obi-Wan rasped and winced Yan nodded, licking his lips. “Qui-Gon?” He asked.

“With the Council, he requested I stay though at the time I did not know why. You often have nightmares?” Yan murmured.

“Nightly.” Obi-Wan swallowed thickly, slowly allowing himself to be ushered to pillow his head on Yan’s thigh.

For now he did not care that he was an adult as a warm hand slowly carded through his hair, stroking the length out. It was comforting and warm, something he had missed for so long.

He didn’t even care when Yan floated up the tooka Qui-Gon had told him belonged to him, letting the Sith tuck it under his arm so Obi-Wan could cling to it.

It made him feel safe in a bizarre manner and right now, he needed it.

After a few seconds, he glanced up. “Have I done this before? Have we? It all feels familiar.” He confessed quietly.

“I often stayed in the apartment when Qui-Gon had to leave.” Yan murmured. “And sometimes missions were hard on you or your powers were strong and you saw things no child should see.” Yan thumb stopped before he sighed. “Your powers are most likely still strong but I hope you will turn to us if you need, for we will be here.” He assured.

Tucking the tooka even tighter to his chest, Obi-Wan didn’t say anything but burrowed closer, silently accepting.

He could depend on someone.


	9. Held down

The sensation of a large hand clenching down on the back of his neck to the point of bruising, covering from parts of his skull with its size, blood dripping from the cut on his face as he sluggishly tried to escape.

The gray eyed man with strands of red in his hair approaching, dressed in beige. Chanting, louder and louder until it echos around the room they are in and Obi-Wan’s head is pressed down with as his arms are held as the man reaches out.

The fingers touch his scalp with a loud booming noise far behind Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan wakes with a yell in his bed, falling out of it as everything in the room, including the bed, falls to the floor in a cacophony of noise.

Running a hand over his sweaty face, Obi-Wan looked around the dark room wildly before yelping as the door snapped open, Qui-Gon standing there with his saber in hand though not activated before the long haired man breathed out and approached him, helping Obi-Wan up and against his chest for support as the redhead’s knees tremble and might not carry him. “Another nightmare?” He said.

“Uhu.” Obi-Wan gasped out, letting the other pull him from the bedroom towards the couch instead. The last few days, reoccurring nightmares had started up and in response to it, Obi-Wan had been trashing his own room almost nightly.

Yan had wondered if it was related to Obi-Wan’s memories, his face a deep furrow of concentration as he listened to Obi-Wan explain the dreams.

Sometimes they were different but there were reoccurring themes.

The Jedi with the graying hair that had red in it, the chanting, the black cave, the loud booming noise, the large hands holding him down and his own blood dripping to the floor. And he always woke at the loud boom.

Never before unless someone woke him.

The speculation was that the boom may have been the one from the cave when Qui-Gon thought him dead, the rocks falling and Obi-Wan being swept away by whatever ritual the Jedi used.

But with Obi-Wan only able to dream about it, no one could prove anything.

But at least now they had a clue.

And Obi-Wan had hope, hope that he would remember who he had been.

It would not change who he was now of course but…

The memories would help him find balance in the temple, with those who loved him and called him family.

Settled on the couch, Obi-Wan quietly watched Qui-Gon march to the kitchen where he made a honey and milk drink with added spices, the man returning on swift feet to push the hot drink into his hand before settling down in just his sleeping pants beside Obi-Wan without a care in the world as he gently urged him to drink.

Doing as told, Obi-Wan took note of the scars of the others chest and side that was facing him.

He’d seen them all before of course, the first night he had a nightmare but it helped distract him and calm his mind to catalog them once more. Just as it helped when Qui-Gon reached up and gently tucked strands of hair behind his ear, Obi-Wan nuzzling into the touch like a loth-cat which had the Sith smiling softly at him.

The mug was empty before they spoke.

“Better?” Qui-Gon questioned, his tone more awake and warm.

“Much…calmer at least.” Obi-Wan replied, glancing towards his room. “…I don’t want to clean that up tonight, do you think we could summon some droids?” He sighed and willingly went when an arm slid around him to pull him to the others warm side.

Rumbling, Qui-Gon nodded. “Yes, I do believe we can.” He waved his hand, summoning the comm to it without bothering to get up or let go of Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan had the faintest notion of wanting to scold the man. “…Frivolous use of the Force is not recommended.” He settled on, feeling Qui-Gon freeze.

“…What did you say?” He peered down at Obi-Wan with an odd look on his face.

“Um… you shouldn’t use the Force for trivial matters? ” Obi-Wan repeated, blinking at the smile spreading over the master’s face. “Its certainly not a toy after all.” He tacked on, trying to sound sever.

Chuckling faintly so his chest rumbled, Qui-Gon pressed his warm, dry lips to Obi-Wan’s forehead. “You used to say that when you were my apprentice. That the Force was not to be used for frivolous tasks and that I was very capable of getting off my own ass lest it get even bigger, you’d tease me and taunt me and call me old.” He chuckled more, almost pulling Obi-Wan into his lap as his glee stroked against Obi-Wan’s sense in the Force.

Laughing as he caught on, Obi-Wan nosed into the others shoulder.

The return of a memory even if it was only a sentence and an inside joke for them by the affection Qui-Gon spoke of it.

That was cause for joy indeed.


	10. Little teacups but more like little sugarbowls

Breaking a piece of the soft pretzel, Obi-Wan nibbled on the still lukewarm baked good he had acquired. Or well, rather been given to him by Xanatos who had been out of the temple on a little walk around Coruscant for…reasons.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know by the look in Xanatos eyes, something told him the other was up to illicit things and tiny teacups should not hear it.

“I’m not a teacup!” Anakin cried out, sitting on Obi-Wan’s lap with a pretzel of his own that he had been happily chewing on moments ago until he caught the tailwind of Obi-Wan’s thoughts that he wasn’t bothering to shield at the moment since it was only surface thoughts anyhow.

“Little teacups have big ears.” Obi-Wan said dryly, smiling when he heard a snigger from the kitchen as Qui-Gon came out with a tea set on a tray, a warm smile on the mans face and his blue eyes twinkling mischievously.

“I can’t believe you are the one saying that.” Qui-Gon chortled. “Yan used to call you a little teacup with big ears though you’d argue you have two ears and by his reasoning you were the sugarbowl since it had two handles which would make him laugh and ruffle your hair before he rewarded you with sweets for the sass and cleverness of it.” He set the tray down and poured them all a cup before he took his seat, even Anakin who grimaced at him but took the tea obediently.

Then the boy sent Obi-Wan a hopeful look which had the redhead rolling his eyes but reaching for the honey jar to add a dollop of it to Anakin’s tea before Obi-Wan took his own. “Feemor says I show a lot of behavior and say quite a few tings that are familiar to you all.” He noted with a hum. “It seems I haven’t so much forgotten you all as its all just buried in my head somewhere.” He sipped his tea and then took a bite, ignoring the fact that he was getting crumbs onto himself and in Anakin’s hair.

It was honestly the boys own fault for claiming his lap!

Nodding, Qui-Gon picked up his own cup, sitting back in his recliner. “Yan says it makes sense since your lack of memories have been buried with you yet they are still there which means that subconsciously you still remember yourself. And us.” He smiled warmly over the rim.

Smiling wryly in return, Obi-Wan shrugged. “It be nice if they could float up to the surface more often or in a more pleasant way, my nightmares are certainly not fun.” He sighed.

A sympathetic smile was the answer to that before Qui-Gon waved his hand. “One of the healers actually had a suggestion for that, guided dept meditation.” He said casually, smiling when Obi-Wan grimaced. “Yes it would mean someone else in your mind but it could break everything open in a slower manner which would recover memories.”

Humming a bit, Obi-Wan finished off his pretzel with a considering expression. “So it be like cutting a cake into slices, you take the memories carefully one by one so it doesn’t all break open and maybe ruins me?” He questioned.

“That’s how I was explained it would be at least though not with that analogue.” Qui-Gon smirked while Anakin giggled. “You always did have a sweet tooth though.” He teased softly.

“Hasn’t changed.” Obi-Wan chortled quietly, brushing crumbs out of Anakin’s hair now that he had one hand free and sipping the rest of his tea. “Though maybe the guided meditation could work…” He mulled over it.

Qui-Gon just let him think and instead held up a blue packaged sweet between thumb and index finger, raising a challenging brow at Anakin who stared at the sweet with a deep frown, trying to pull it out of Qui-Gon’s hands.

It was a nice little training exercise with the promise of a reward should Anakin succeed.

And it gave Obi-Wan some sore needed quiet to think over the option while enjoying his tea.


	11. Hug you?

Working slowly on his stance, Obi-Wan listened to the door open and close while the person sent out a greeting in the Force that he returned easily while he continued working in the provided silence.

He had opted for a private salle for a reason but he didn’t mind anyone of his brothers linage coming and seeking him out as long as they were quiet while he was doing his katas.

And Xanatos understood the value of silence and when to wait.

Anakin…

Well Anakin and Feemor were more excitable and more prone to interrupting.

But this time Xanatos did not wait for him to finish. “We tend to overwhelm you, don’t we?” Obi-Wan paused before looking at his lineage brother, still mid stance though he knew he was fully able to hold it for as long as he wanted. And Xanatos clearly awaited answer, his expression one of expectation but also resignation to the answer.

He was contemplating his answer for a long while before finally answering the waiting Xanatos. “Frequently, but not as much as before. But, it’s… nice. I don’t remember ever having this…” Obi-Wan said quietly, sighing a bit as he suppressed the urge to wrap his arms around himself like he sometimes did when he was alone.

Xanatos face glowed with anger, with realization at something he must have suspected. “They skin starved you.” He growled, moving onto the sparring mat towards Obi-Wan.

“Is it really starvation if you don’t remember it?” Obi-Wan noted hesitantly, dropping his kata stance as the other stood before him with protectiveness and raw anger filling his Force aura as Xanatos reached out and cupped his face gingerly, stroking scarred skin with careful attention and affection.

“It is when you remember subconsciously,”  He said seriously, blue eyes that flickered yellow focused only on Obi-Wan. “Your body remembers even if your mind doesn’t Obi-Wan.” Xanatos explained quietly.

Musing on that, Obi-Wan glanced down then up to meet Xanatos eyes again. “You may have a point there and I am remembering more and more, any… deficiency the Jedi Order has instilled in me would be more apparent to you than to me since I may have calked it up as just… Jedi behavior.” He shrugged.

Xanatos gave an unhappy growl, still stroking the skin of Obi-Wan’s scar slowly before he took a deep breath. “Can I hug you Obi-Wan?” He requested strongly, staring at him.

While Anakin, Feemor and even Qui-Gon were exuberant and not shy about dolling out affection and hugs, Xanatos and Yan were more reserved so this offer…

“Please?” He responded plaintively, feeling silly and yet when Xanatos arms wrapped around him, Obi-Wan felt himself melt as he hid his face into the others chest with a shuddering breath.

His emotions were turbulent yet he couldn’t let go of the dark haired man for anything in the galaxy at that moment as he let out a soft whimper, feeling Xanatos hand come up to thread through his hair and cup the back of his head. “Its alright little brother,” Xanatos whispered quietly. “I won’t leave you, I’m right here. We’re never going to leave you again.” He swore.

And Obi-Wan believed him.

The next time Obi-Wan went missing they would not stop searching until they found him, dead or alive.

And that thought had his knees weakening and if it wasn’t for him locking them he would have fallen to the floor. Yet Xanatos had him, his brother held him tightly as Obi-Wan smelled mint and caff from the others clothes, shaking in the others arms.

They weren’t going to let go of Obi-Wan ever again.


	12. Traitors within

“I’d ask where in hellspawn’s name you came from but I don’t think I want to know,” Obi-Wan blinked down at the limpet currently attached to his waist, the blond grinning up at him wildly as he rubbed his cheek against Obi-Wan’s hip. “I was suppose to spar you know.” Obi-Wan offered with some bemusement.

“I’ll let go once Feemor arrives!” Anakin chirruped, the boy coming barreling out of nowhere when Obi-Wan had entered the room.

Hearing a muffled cough of laugh, Obi-Wan looked up at Qui-Gon with wide eyes, the long haired Sith giving a shrug with a smile. “I tend to just let him do his own thing. Apparently he’s under the impression you need hugs… not that I really disagree.” Qui-Gon smirked before settling his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder to lead him through the throng of Sith on sparring mats.

Noting that some of them paused a bit when they walked past, Obi-Wan tried not to be too self conscious even as he felt Sith around send out little greetings towards them in the Force that Qui-Gon responded to because of Obi-Wan’s uncertainty.

Most were slowly reintroducing themselves to Obi-Wan and understood that a certain distance was required temporarily but it was clear that most were either awed or curious by his reappearance in the temple.

But that didn’t mean they weren’t gossiping behind his back and Obi-Wan tried not to feel too conscious of that.

Then he rolled his eyes when Feemor made a straight beeline for them and instantly manhandled Obi-Wan, lifting him off his feet while hugging him which dislodged Anakin and had the boy whining up at Feemor.

Giving the laughing Qui-Gon a long suffering look, Obi-Wan made his peace with being hugged as he saw Xanatos glide into the room with another Sith, giving the woman a word before he changed his direction and headed towards Obi-Wan too.

Obviously intent on getting his own touches in.

It made a warm glow appear in Obi-Wan’s stomach that he tried not to identify too deeply.

()()()

There’s a clammy, giant hand on the back of his neck and Obi-Wan breath wheezes between his clenched teeth as he is pinned to the wall with another hand holding his wrists painfully at the small of his back, eyes water and narrow with pain as another two giant hands are patting him down, taking his lightsaber and belt off him.

His head is dizzy and he’s bleeding from his head but he can still see the blurry besalisk from the corner of his eyes as Pong Krell keeps him pinned.

He hadn’t actually been worried when he saw the man.

Yes the besalisk made him uneasy though Obi-Wan wasn’t sure why. Yet he had thought anyone who would dare to attack him would certainly be a fool to risk Qui-Gon and his linage brothers rage when Qui-Gon had made it quite clear that he would rip limb from limb if anyone touched Obi-Wan.

So he had been taken off guard when the Sith had suddenly shoved him against the wall, smashing his head to the dark stone tiles and grasping his hands, Obi-Wan caught off guard as he had only been walking the empty hallway to get more quickly back to the quarters where Qui-Gon and Anakin would have dinner ready after leaving behind Feemor in the salle.

“I didn’t think you’d actually come back worm,” Krell suddenly snarled. “My deal with Palpatine was clear, you weren’t to return alive. My luck you haven’t your memories though,” He crooned, his throat sack bloating with pride. “And now you will never expose me.”

Obi-Wan had a moment to recognize the name, Palpatine, before he was dragged down the hall.

He heard a shift and squinted before going wide eyed at an open shaft door and tried to struggle out of the grasp of the besalisk but disoriented and in pain from what was likely a concussion he did not get far before the Sith once more slammed him into the wall, dazing him.

And then Obi-Wan was thrown into the blackness of the open elevator shaft, falling fast and hard towards the inky blackness below.


	13. Stone and darkness

The moment his newly restored bond to Obi-Wan flared with pain before going utterly dark, Qui-Gon was on his feet, his cooking abandoned as Anakin quickly turned the stove off and pushed the pot off the plate before he followed after the long limbed master.

No one got in Qui-Gon’s way as he marched out into the halls, no they almost jumped out of his way as Qui-Gon’s face practically swore death on whoever tried to get on his way.

Feemor almost crashed into the tall man two corridors down, his eyes wild as he latched onto the masters arm. “Where is Obi-Wan?” He panted out.

“I don’t know.” Qui-Gon returned tightly before pulling Feemor with him, obviously on a mission.

Anakin almost didn’t notice Xanatos joining them until the dark haired mans hand rested on his shoulder, the other having joined them seamlessly at some point..

Looking up worriedly, Anakin clung to his older linage brothers wrist with a hand. “What’s going on?” He questioned.

“Obi-Wan’s bond has gone silent,” Xanatos answered, voice tight. “Something has happened to him but we don’t know what or where he is. He was suppose to show for dinner yes?” He peered down at Anakin.

Anakin gave a quick nod. “We were just waiting for him while heating up the pot. But Master Qui-Gon suddenly jerked to and ran for it.” Anakin said quickly, biting his bottom lip hard as he understood that something had happened to Obi-Wan.

Had the Jedi found him?

But how could the Jedi get onto Coruscant, much less the temple!?

Clinging to Xanatos hand, Anakin watched quietly as Qui-Gon finally stopped, knocking briskly on Dooku’s door.

The grandmaster appeared after a moment, a brow raised in confusion before he went blank as he took in the entire linage sans Obi-Wan with the grim faces. “What has happened?” He asked, summoning cloak and saber to his hand.

“Obi-Wan is missing.”

Pandemonium.

‘Well,’ Anakin thought shakily as he clung to his linage brothers hands as both Qui-Gon and Yan turned the temple on its head. ‘At least this is something to tell Obi-Wan when he doubts that he should be here.’

And then Yoda himself got involved, the little green masters eyes pulsing yellow as he stood leaning on his cane, darkness leeching from his very being and into the marble floor around him and Anakin almost climbed Feemor like a tree as a potted plant near a window wilted and fell.

‘Never piss off the great-grandmaster!’

()()()

Opening his eyes slowly to the dark, Obi-Wan breathed thickly and coughed wetly into dust.

And while he couldn’t see it, he could feel it.

It was dusty.

And… stone?

Frowning a bit, Obi-Wan struggled to understand how he had survived for he remembered well Krell throwing him into the elevator shaft which meant he had fallen very far.

After a few seconds he pushed himself up, wrapping his arms around his aching and bruised ribs and stomach as he did.

His head throbbed and as he reached for his bonds he could tell they were muted which meant he was _far_ down. ‘Well, at least Qui-Gon must be looking for me by now.’ He thought with some hysteric before slowly getting to his feet.

Slowly he reached out and felt along the wall, finding the doorway as he slowly shuffled out and into the hallway.

Feeling along the wall, Obi-Wan frowned to himself as he realized he must be the entire way down in the basement of the temple and his survival made even less sense… unless… did he manage to cushion himself?

Hmm no, no he didn’t think so.

So what had saved his life?

“No time like the present to figure it out huh?” He wheezed out before slowly making his way forward, stubbornly ignoring the implication of Krell’s words until later.

It could all be dealt with later.

Once he was safe.


	14. Realization

Stopping mid motion, Qui-Gon brushed over his bond with Obi-Wan before slowly looking around at the others.

Feemor was looking around with a deep frown on his face and Xanatos was scowling outright.

“He’s in the temple,” The latter stated, crossing his arms over his chest. “He’s injured and he’s in the temple but its so faint that I can barely tell he’s here, as if he was on his way out of Coruscant’s atmosphere.” Xanatos looked around, as if he could stare through walls with his yellow eyes, his rage shimmering below his skin.

Feemor was the only one still sporting blue eyes as far as Qui-Gon could see, but that could be because he was holding Anakin’s hand in assurance.

His heart panged a bit at that, he should be doing that but his mind was doing its most to focus on Obi-Wan at this moment, to find his missing boy because if he lost him again than there would be nothing that could save him from the dark side.

He would become as torn up and consumed by it as Darth Sion once had been, the lord of pain.

Or worse, like Darth Nihilus who consumed others and became the lord of hunger that could never become sated as he walked like a wound in the Force.

No, Qui-Gon would seek death before that.

His boy was alive and he would take revenge on those who thought they could harm Qui-Gon’s lin-traitor.

He froze mid-step, staring straight forward, unseeing and unmoving.

Traitor.

The Force coiled around him, hissing in agreement before it billowed out around him, passing his own linage unharmed and making others recoil as his thoughts passed by them.

“Qui-Gon?” Yan rumbled.

Turning his head slowly, Qui-Gon bared his teeth in a feral snarl. “We have traitors.” He hissed out to the agreeing snarl of the Force.

All the Sith in the hallway froze before Yoda growled as loud as a raging beast five times his own size, the sound rumbling through them all and raising hackles before the little troll slamming his cane down into the floor.

It sounded like the toll of a bell.

“And found they will, enemies of my linage no one cause.” Yoda bared yellowed teeth in a similar snarl.

A search was still in motion and a hunt was initiated.

One person to be found and rescued by those who adored him and one to be found and slaughtered on the alters of revenge.

Qui-Gon wanted to join both but his need was to see Obi-Wan so he would go with the former.

Xanatos blood thirsty face was enough to tell him where the other would go.

Good.

()()()

Squinting into the dark, Obi-Wan brows furrowed as he kept his shoulder against the wall.

He was pretty sure he could see light way in front of him and that made him purse his lips as it was becoming clear to him that this was an unused section of the temple.

The amount of dust and decay told him that.

Yet here was light.

Stretching his Force out as gingerly as he could, Obi-Wan recoiled with gritted teeth.

‘Jedi,’ His mind snarled out. Once he would have thought that with relief, would have expected aid but that was before Qui-Gon had found him again, before he had come home. ‘That’s why I survived. It thinks I’m gonna let it out.’

He knew this particular legend, Anakin had been eager in telling him it as it was part of the creche stories.

The Jedi Bane that had been trapped in the foundation of the temple to aid its creation and as a warning to other Jedi.

And here Obi-Wan finds him, the Jedi trapped in a Sith temple.

He shook his head, lips twisting.

‘Well, aren’t I just the luckiest. Spirits and traitors all in one day… it has only been one day hasn’t it?’ Obi-Wan sighed and stumbled towards the light with narrowed eyes, feeling more than a little grumpy.

And his head still hurt!

Ugh.


	15. Take what I need

Lips pursed tightly as he made his way slowly towards the light, Obi-Wan debated with himself how he was going to do this.

He had very little love for the Jedi after what they had done towards him, taking his memories of what was clearly a very loving home where he had been adored and instead throwing him into isolation and loneliness which they told him was ‘normal’ and the ‘right’ path.

It made him want to rip someones head off in vengeance and hey, that was supposedly the right way to go about it if his Sith family was any indication.

He still hadn’t figured out how he was going to play it when he finally reached the drab looking karking _coffin_ of stone in the middle of a circular room, broken up images carved onto it ages past.

‘Well, the Sith did know how to mock the Jedi it seems, considering their burial ritual is cremation.’ Obi-Wan thought dryly to himself as he stopped in front of the coffin with his arm tight around his chest in a useless motion to still the ache even as it aided his comfort a tiny bit.

Even as he stood there a mist slowly appeared as the Jedi Bane slowly gathered himself until the human ghost floated in front of Obi-Wan with what was supposedly a gentle smile, his form sheer with a yellowish shade and no other color. “I was hoping a Jedi would someday find their way down here.” He greeted and Obi-Wan absently noticed that the man could have been called attractive with a roman nose and a strong chin that stuck out a bit.

However Obi-Wan noticed Bane’s eyes were faintly narrowed despite the smile and he snorted at the Jedi. “You already know I’m not one. And I suspect you know what has happened to me considering the way you’re looking at me,” He snarked, glaring at the Jedi with his arm wrapped around his ribs. “I’m amnesiac, not stupid.” Obi-Wan said coldly.

Bane’s smile disappeared like snow in fire. “Aye, I know what you are. We did this in my time too. It was war after all.” He sniffed.

‘I bet it was… weaponize our own against us.’ Obi-Wan thought with anger even as he recognized the tactics of it and the fact that the Sith would do the same in a heartbeat if they had the chance.

Outloud however he only said. “I’m not going to let you out Jedi, you may have slowed my descent in an attempt to curry favor from a ‘fellow’ Jedi as you tried to present me as but after what the Jedi did to me, I have no love for your kind.” Obi-Wan sneered at the floating yellowish ghost.

Bane stared at him for a long icy moment before the ghost spoke. “Then I guess I’ll just have to _take_ what I need.”

Obi-Wan barely had time to scream as the ghost flew at him, sinking into his body.

()()()

Icy shock and fear overwhelmed Qui-Gon’s bond with his boy and he gave an enraged roar not unlike the feline he sometimes got compared to, suddenly racing down the hall towards the elevators that would bring him to the unused sections of the temple.

He left the Sith with him behind as he burst into the elevator and slammed his hand onto the buttons with a snarl, pulsing rage and raw fear into the Force as Obi-Wan was getting closer but his fright louder at the same time.

Something had happened, something that was scaring his little boy and Qui-Gon had no idea.

Had a part of the temple fallen on him?

Was he hurting?

‘Force don’t take my boy away from me now!’


	16. Brink of disaster

Trampling through the dust and ancient halls, Qui-Gon’s heart thundered and roared because he could see blood on the wall, tracing along it and he could almost see Obi-Wan for his inner eye, leaning on the wall as he moved forward slowly and steadily.

_His_ Obi-Wan, his poor apprentice who needed him!

One final chamber and there he found Obi-Wan, huddled against a stone slab of no importance to Qui-Gon as he dropped to his feet at his wounded boy’s side and wrapped his arms around him. “Obi-Wan!”

Supporting the other to his chest while cupping the back of his head to get a look at him, he took in Obi-Wan’s pale skin stained with blood and dust as sweat was pebbling the redhead’s skin. His scar looked inflamed as Qui-Gon cupped his cheek while supporting the others head with the Force instead and cursed at the heat he could feel from the others pale skin. “Obi-Wan, oh no my Obi-Wan what has happened?” He pressed their foreheads together, uncaring of the dirt getting on himself as he sought entrance to the others mind.

He meet resistance.

Someone _else_ was in Obi-Wan’s mind and with a vicious snarl Qui-Gon bull rushed into this other to protect _his_ boy because Obi-Wan’s mind was already weak from the memory block, it could not handle more trauma. He found Jedi to his surprise but after a moment that mattered little as Qui-Gon wrapped his shields around Obi-Wan’s mind as Yan had taught him so long ago when Feemor had been weakened and needed Qui-Gon’s protection.

‘ _You will **not** have my boy, you can’t not have him!_ ’ He howled at the other, expelling the presence firmly while locking his Obi-Wan’s mind with his own powers as Obi-Wan was unable to protect himself.

He felt Obi-Wan slump in his arms and surfaced to check on him, ignoring the glowing shape over the stone slab as he carefully tilted Obi-Wan’s face. “…I would expel you to nothing if I knew how for daring to touch him.” He finally said, lifting his eyes towards the Jedi spirit with a sneer on his face.

The man gave him an unimpressed stare back. “As if a Sith would not attempt what I tried to do. You have no moral ground with me Sith scum.” He sneered back.

Standing slowly, Obi-Wan in his arms as he heard the approach of others, Qui-Gon snorted deeply. “I never claimed to have moral ground, only love for my apprentice that the Jedi have now attempted twice to take from me.” He turned, meeting the eyes of the two acolytes that had been to slow for his taste.

“Master Jinn,” One panted out, leaning her hands on her thighs. “You found him.”

“I did. Now make sure this Jedi spirit can’t escape. I’ll have the Sith council come for him.” Qui-Gon growled before sweeping past them with his Obi-Wan in his grasp, moving as steadily as he could to avoid jarring him.

He needed to bring Obi-Wan to the halls, quickly now.

()()()

Leaning against the tank, Anakin stared up at Obi-Wan than looked at Qui-Gon where the Sith was sitting on the bed in the medical room. “Is he gonna be alright?” He asked in a small voice because Obi-Wan didn’t look good in the bacta.

The man sighed deeply. “Physically the bacta will take care of everything. But I am more worried about the mental trauma now, spirit possession is never good and forceful possession is worse. With the damage already inflicted on Obi-Wan’s mind…” He trailed off as Anakin stared at him in return.

With the damage done the potential for Obi-Wan’s mind to splinter was high if the spirit had done more.

Maybe even break open the memory block.

If Obi-Wan was unprepared…

The consequences could be disastrous.


	17. At his side

anonymous asked:

Alive but lost- Obi’s family sits vigil around their lost child and the healers tell them that the possession had some interesting effects.

 

Withdrawing his hand slowly, Yan frowned down at the redhead before letting out a relieved breath. “He’s alright.” He confirmed quietly, looking up at the others.

The rest of them all slumped with relief, Feemor, leaning back against the wall as he rubbed his face as he hadn’t managed to sleep because of his worry and Xanatos seemed to gain back some color in his normally pale face as he slumped in his chair by Feemor. Qui-Gon, sitting by the left door on another chair was even starting to smile a bit as he relaxed his arms around Anakin where the boy was curled up in his lap, the boy napping since he had stayed in the halls with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon the entire night.

They all looked better.

It made Yan regret the next bit of news he had to tell them. “But he’s not going to wake in a while.” And unvoiced was the ‘he might never.’

Instantly they all tensed up and Anakin made a soft noise as he woke from the tension, blue eyes looking confusedly around at the adults before landing on Yan on Obi-Wan’s bedside.

He sat up, eyes going wide as he caught the serious mood.

“What do you mean Yan?” Qui-Gon rasped out, needing a glass of water and a good rest… maybe a shower too.

Yan sighed and stroked his knuckles over Obi-Wan’s temple, over the almost pulsing looking scar in a soothing motion. “The attempted possession of Obi-Wan has cracked the mental barriers on his memories, he’s currently fighting the floodgate and won’t wake until that is done… when he wakes he will either have the full range of his memories or he will loose them for good.” Yan said quietly, eyes flashing yellow, once more not voicing what other things that could happen to their poor boy.

He was going to send that karking Jedi spirits to the void.

And Pong Krell?

Pong Krell was going to wish that Xanatos had outright murdered him instead of severing two of his arms by the time Yan was done with him.

For several long moments no one said anything as they absorbed the news, Anakin’s hands twisted into Qui-Gon’s tunic as he tried to wrap his young mind around the big words Yan had used to understand what was going on.

Feemor looked as if someone had drained him for blood while Xanatos looked made of stone, rigid as a statue.

Qui-Gon just looked defeated.

“Is there anything we can do?” Feemor finally, his tone tinged with desperation from where he stood leaning against the wall by the door.

Glancing down at the pale face, Yan let out a deep breath. “Not really but we can provide him company, familiar auras as he fights, voices if he can hear us. There are those who believe that the presence of those who are safe and familiar provides strength to those who are trapped in their own minds.” He explained quietly.

“So if one of us stays with him at all times… that may help?” Xanatos asked quietly, leaning forward in his chair with his elbows on his knees.

Nodding, Yan watched the blond and raven trade glances.

“We’ll set up a schedule.” Feemor said firmly, pushing himself up. “I can’t be here everyday, I agreed to take over the botanical lessons for Master Daveros about edible plants for subhumans,” He glanced about. “But I’ll be here for anything else.”

“I have dueling lessons for beginners with the Initiates aged eight to nine,” Xanatos murmured calmly. “Everyday at three but nothing else, I can be here at any time else.” He said strongly.

Anakin was about to open his mouth when Qui-Gon placed a large hand over it. “You will go to class Anakin, and be in the creche. You can visit but only with permission,” He said quietly before looking up at Yan. “And I will stay with Obi-Wan for any other time none of you can. I have nothing else to do as the council freed me to care for Obi-Wan until he was reintegrated to our ways once more.” He tucked Anakin’s head to his chest. Yan knew that the Sith council had also posted Qui-Gon as Obi-Wan’s guard should he fall back on Jedi ways but right now that mattered little.

Yan nodded. “I have three days I can use with Obi-Wan a week, tuesday, friday and saturday. All my other days are tied up in obligations.” He sighed deeply and continued caressing Obi-Wan’s temple slowly while wishing he had more time.

For Obi-Wan would need them.


	18. This is me?

‘Is this me?’

Obi-Wan stared at his hands, feeling dirt beneath his cheek as his ears rang, staring at his own hands that laid in front of him on the ground. But…

Wasn’t he in the catacombs of the Sith temple?

He had…

The Jedi spirit…

No… no this wasn’t that memory.

Too much earth, not enough dust and his face throbbed with pain like… like…

Blood dripped into his eyes and Obi-Wan groaned before giving a cry as he was pulled up by a hand in his hair, feeling some strands pulled from his scalp as his head was pulled up high enough to stare at a wrinkled old face wearing a brown cloak.

‘Jedi?’

He was speaking to someone and Obi-Wan’s eyes flickered to the space the Jedi was looking, eyes widening up as he saw Knight Krell.

The besalisk was nodding, saying something in return but Obi-Wan’s ears were ringing. Why wasn’t the Sith attacking the Jedi…

Eyes narrowing slowly as understanding bloomed, Obi-Wan let himself go lax.

This was a memory.

_The_ memory.

The one that sealed away all that he had once been before the Jedi reformed him.

Krell was working with the enemy and these were the moment before his memories were sealed and he was taken away to that sterile Jedi bay and told he was one of them while never truly fitting in among them.

He bared his teeth as the youth he had once been realized that Krell was a traitor only to have his head jerked even further back by the Jedi who stared at him with dispassionate eyes.

He knew this one.

Palpatine.

One of the twelve Jedi council members and on the kill list of every Sith in existence.

The prey of every Sith but at this moment the Jedi had turned the tables for Obi-Wan was only an apprentice against a Master Jedi. Here Obi-Wan was the helpless prey, the smaller spider caught in the webbing of a far larger spider and helpless as its legs were ripped off.

Hurting and on his knees Obi-Wan could do nothing as the man coated his fingers in blood from Obi-Wan’s own wound and drew symbols on his forehead, the wet fingertips feeling like ice. ‘I’m gonna kill you. I’m gonna kill you one day, I’m going to be free one day and I’m going to _kill_ you.’ Obi-Wan glared up at the Jedi as best he could with blood in his eyes.

He was going to twist this old mans neck, make him choke on his own blood just like Qui-Gon had showed him how to so long ago when he became the mans apprentice.

Wait… he didn’t have those memories… those memories were about to be sealed away right now and Obi-Wan closed his eyes.

There was a flash.

()()()

Turning the page, Qui-Gon started on the next chapter of the Champion of Coruscant only to freeze when the Force swelled around Obi-Wan and the redhead jerked in bed and gave a cry, black seals appearing on his forehead as the machines monitoring Obi-Wan squealed too.

Jerking to his feet as the healers slammed into the room and pull away the sheets to rip open the medical gown Obi-Wan wore, Qui-Gon could only watch as the heart rate monitor squealed before going silent.

Could only watch the healers gather the Force to jolt Obi-Wan’s entire body.

He numbly registered the arrival of Yan and Anakin, felt himself wrap his arms around the boy as Obi-Wan’s mouth was pried open to force air tubes down.

Obi-Wan’s body jolted once more before the beeps of the monitor returned to the room, Obi-Wan’s pale chest covered in burning red hand prints.


	19. I am not mercy

Crawling into the bed, Anakin coiled himself into Obi-Wan’s side while taking the others hand to hold as tightly in his as he had seen Qui-Gon do at times.

Obi-Wan’s hand was cold but large, the callouses rubbing against Anakin’s softer hands despite the Initiate having done his own fair share of dueling and for a long moment Anakin stared at the size of Obi-Wan’s hand in his.

Then he focused on the sleeping man. “Krell is getting convicted today, Master Qui-Gon hopes he gets to take his head but Xanatos says they might give him a harsher punishment cause he betrayed us to the Jedi.” He whispered, taking note of stubble at Obi-Wan’s cheek this close.

There was no response of course, Obi-Wan hadn’t done anything since he had suddenly jerked to and his heart had stopped for several moments before the healers could bring him back and Anakin knew that Qui-Gon at least was loosing hope.

The only reason he had even dared to leave Obi-Wan in this moment was that all of them wanted to see Krell’s sentence, to get their revenge.

Sith didn’t necessarily thrive off revenge but Qui-Gon for sure did, his collection of Jedi saber was a testament to that.

Anakin paused then bit his lips before slowly pressing his own powers of the Force against Obi-Wan’s slumbering consciousness, wondering…

The dark side pounced with Anakin opening up a bond and Obi-Wan’s eyes snapped open, green going the brightest of amber, almost glowing as lighting crackled along exposed skin with Anakin tucking closer with a whine as Obi-Wan’s light bleed dark into the Force.

()()()

Sitting back with a tired sigh, Qui-Gon crossed his arms over his chest.

He should be delighted, he should be happy.

The council was going to tie Krell’s very soul to the foundation of the temple and shred it apart for the defenses of the temple.

Make Krell a tormented soul for as long as the stones of the temple stood.

Yet all he could feel was the tiredness of his own bones now that the rage had shimmered and died in its infancy for he had fully expected to be given the task of executioner for the besalisk and yet here he sat, his saber left unlight on his hip.

Yan shot him a worried look before reaching up and resting his hand on his shoulder where he sat next to Qui-Gon to provide support along with Xanatos and Feemor whispering quietly behind him in the courtroom as they expected an outburst that was never to come.

Qui-Gon almost didn’t notice the growing darkness but ended up dismissing it as this was the Sith temple, it could be anyone in the temple doing a ritual for all he knew.

The doors flew open and Qui-Gon jerked to his feet only to freeze, his breath catching for it was _Obi-Wan_.

_His_ Obi-Wan.

Not the pale imitation Qui-Gon had found in a bog, not the cautious and starved Jedi that walked with slow cautious steps to avoid the fangs of the lion as he saw the Sith but the true Obi-Wan!

Standing in the doorway of the flung open doors in his medical gown and the thin shorts, darkness convulsed around him in the shape of lightning flickering off pale skin, Obi-Wan’s golden eyes focused on Krell and Krell alone as his bare feet moved the along the black marble.

Behind Obi-Wan was Anakin, the boy’s eyes wide in delight and Qui-Gon was going to speak to the boy about that because Anakin’s signature was all over Obi-Wan.

But right now all Qui-Gon could do was watch with baited breath as Obi-Wan swept his arm and sent the two hundred kg heavy besalisk straight into the wall, the sound of crunching bones practically vibrating through the room as the smell of ozone filled the court chamber.

All the council members were on their feet along with the gathered Sith but no one interfered.

Obi-Wan was awake and by right of the victim in the Sith ranks, he was now judge, jury and _executioner_.

“You _sold_ me to Palpatine,” Obi-Wan hissed, his amber eyes glowing as he closed the distance to the crumbled Sith. “You worked with the _Jedi_. I’m going to take pleasure of this.” Obi-Wan sneered.

Well, nothing Obi-Wan said there was a surprise.

But what he did was a surprise as lightning lift his fingertips, Krell screaming and spasming as his cuff bound and broken arms jerked and caused more pain to fill the Force but Obi-Wan did not seem to care, was pushing more and more Force into his powers.

“He’s going to fry his brain.” Xanatos said with smug satisfaction and some amount of awe as he had never quite mastered lighting himself.

“He already is.” Feemor confirmed, having done the same thing towards a Jedi once and he was watching closely. “If it wasn’t for the smell of ozone, you would smell burning flesh by now, the boiling of the brain and the organs…” He trailed off as Krell started to choke up blood. “There goes his lungs.” He whispered.

Qui-Gon felt a small hand in his and glanced down, pulling Anakin into his side to press his face into Qui-Gon’s hip. “…Don’t watch Anakin.” He whispered. Qui-Gon may be a broken man, a rageful man… but this sight was not yet for the eyes of someone as young as Anakin, the time would come when he would be a Sith but right now?

He was a child and should not watch as Obi-Wan’s revenge unfolded.

Suddenly Obi-Wan stopped, withdrew, his darkness diminishing as he knelt down and placed healing hands on Krell and for a moment Qui-Gon felt disappointment in his veins until Obi-Wan grabbed Krell by his throat sack and pulled their faces until only centimeters was between them so their eyes were meeting. “No, I won’t let your death be that easy,” He hissed, his voice a cold rasp. “I will bring hell to you before I let you die Krell.” Obi-Wan swore, ruthless hands digging into the throatsack as the besalisk only gasped and whinged in pain. 


	20. I can wait

Giving the woman a tired smile, Obi-Wan inclined his head to her in respect. “Thank you madam Pellex, this will be of aide I am certain.” He murmured while glancing to the holocrons she had settled down on the table in front of him.

Only for his eyes to snap back to the ornately decorated woman in gold and blue in front of him as she smiled fondly at him. “I imagine they will young Obi-Wan. But you can call me Jocasta as I have well told you before you lost so much. After all, Yan and I are in essence still your grandparents even if you are still struggling to reclaim those memories.” She tweaked his nose fondly before stepping back.

She did slip Anakin a cookie before she disappeared off into the rows of books and pads though.

Huffing in amusement, Obi-Wan ran his fingers through his hair before looking at his apprentice, smiling at Anakin as the boy happily chewed on the cookie. “You know you don’t have to stay with me, I can handle the separation if you wish to be with your friends.” He settled down beside the boy.

Anakin had been the sole reason for Obi-Wan’s awakening less than two days ago, the now golden eyed redhead being pulled out of his Force coma thanks to Anakin initiating a bond between them, sealing the blond as Obi-Wan’s apprentice.

Force, an _apprentice_.

Obi-Wan wasn’t certain what to do about that, because while he was now awake and he had memories…

He didn’t have all of them.

There were more to recover though some of the earliest formative years were now within his grasp along with Palpatine separating him from his master with Krell’s aid.

But more important…

He remembered _home_ , he remembered running through these halls under the golden eyes of Sith, he remembered curling into Qui-Gon’s side during cold missions and he remembered being _safe_.

This temple was safe, these were his friends and his family.

“Nah, I like being here,” Anakin chirped, wiping crumbs off his tunic with a bright smile on his face. “Beside, I don’t mind learning with you, the Initiates don’t get to touch the holocrons except the blank ones for teaching purpose.” He sat up, looking at the differently shaped holocrons in curiosity.

Snorting a bit, Obi-Wan picked up an octagon shaped one and rolled it in his hand. “That’s because a lot of power and concentration is required with most of these and all of them are Sith. Manipulating others are what they do if they can so the more naive younglings don’t get to touch them and Madam Pellex decides who is ready or the holocrons, if she decided I could not handle what was inside them, I wouldn’t have been allowed them.” He lectured quietly.

Anakin leaned into his side, eyes wide in interest. “Are you going to let me try one of these when I get older?” He asked in interest.

Snorting loudly, Obi-Wan shot him a smile before sighing deeply. “Anakin, you do know that it might be longer until I can take you on as an apprentice right? I don’t have all my memories and I was abducted while I was still an apprentice myself, our bond…” He looked away. “It can be dissolved if you wish to be Qui-Gon’s padawan.” Obi-Wan murmured quietly, focused on a shelf.

So he jumped a bit when a small hand took his free one, turning sharply to look down at Anakin, the blond staring up at him as he clung to Obi-Wan’s larger hand. “I want you. I can wait. I choose you.” He whispered with childish affection before pressing closer to lean his head on Obi-Wan’s arm.

Blinking down at him as the yellow bleed back to the normal blue of Obi-Wan’s eyes, the recovering Sith felt his affection for the other grow along with a wide smile. Wrapping his arms tightly around the boy, Obi-Wan pulled Anakin out of the chair and into his lap. “If you can wait for me, I promise I’ll do my best by you. I’ll be the master you deserve.” He whispered, shaken with emotion as he caught Qui-Gon’s affectionate eyes as the older man watched them from behind a book stack he had ‘stealthily’ hidden behind earlier, Anakin’s thin but strong arms wrapping around Obi-Wan in return.

“I can wait.” Anakin squeaked delightedly.


	21. Combine

Settling down in front of his master, Anakin tilted his head curiously as he watched the other meditate.

It felt different from how everyone else among the Sith meditated.

If Anakin were to describe it… being beside Qui-Gon was like listening to an ocean in storm but Obi-Wan…

Obi-Wan was like a rock skipped over a lake, its dept hidden until you dared to step into it and find out, deceitfully serene with roots at the bottom you would get tangled up in and drown if you dared to dive to far down.

Anakin assumed that had to do with his past years as a Jedi, the other combining things to make himself better and choosing which parts he wanted to keep as he reintegrated into the temple.

Looking back, Anakin beamed as Qui-Gon joined them in the meditation chamber and squawked quietly when the man leaned down to ruffled his hair. “How is he doing?” The older sith questioned quietly with a small smile on his lined face as he rested his hand on Anakin’s head.

“Seems good, he’s been meditating for a good two hours but he said he would be earlier.” Anakin shrugged then giggled a bit when Obi-Wan picked that exact moment to open his eyes and give them a lazy smile.

“Hello Ani, master Qui-Gon,” He hummed out thickly before clearing his throat and getting up to stretch steadily and carefully until his spine popped. “Oh that’s so much better.”

Chortling some more as he held out his hands, Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan up on his feet. “I’m sure it feels that way. I have to say, your meditation was interesting.” He raised a brow as Obi-Wan pulled Anakin up.

Snorting, Obi-Wan shrugged. “I’m trying to mix my Sith memories and my Jedi memories. Its a bit difficult but I am making some head ways in remembering,” He said before giving the other a wryly shy smile. “Like the fact that you once spent three days helping me go to the fresher because I was sick with the Anatollan flue and every time I got up my muscles would cramp up on me.”

Qui-Gon let out a surprised huff then pulled Obi-Wan into a hug with a laugh. “Of course its the embarrassing memories for you that you manage to find first though being fair, to me it was just a part of being your master. Everyone gets sick.” He ruffled Obi-Wan’s hair.

Smiling wryly with pink still in his cheeks, Obi-Wan shrugged. “Maybe but at least the Jedi training was good for something with it allowing me to go this deep into my own subconscious to re-find those old memories.”

Grimacing heavily, Qui-Gon kept an arm around Obi-Wan while placing his hand on Anakin’s shoulder as they made their way out of the meditation chamber. “I would have preferred the Jedi to never have gotten involved in your life.” He growled out while holding both younger men close to him.

Obi-Wan said nothing but through their bond, Anakin could feel his conflicted emotions. ‘Best not say anything.’ Anakin grimaced to himself before beaming up at Qui-Gon. “Are we going to Dex? Is that why we’re here?” He chirped to distract the man.

“Why yes, I’m here to bring you both to Dex,” Qui-Gon was smiling again as he moved them around a group of giggling apprentices. “Dex has been asking to see you since I told him you were back.” He told Obi-Wan fondly.

“I would love that.” Obi-Wan noted, eyes widening.

“He still has your favorite noodle dish,” Qui-Gon teased playfully before pinching Anakin’s cheek playfully. “And I commed him ahead so he has already started on your slow cooked bantha stuffer with pickled vegetable filling.” He winked at the other.

Cheering, Anakin latched onto Obi-Wan’s hand with a big grin on his face. “Its a filled pancaked with glazed slow cooked bantha meat and vegs, its really spicy but you can have a bite of mine to see if you like it!” He said in excitement, uncaring of the masters glancing at him in exasperation at the level of noise.

“Sounds good kiddo, I can’t wait to see Dex again.” Obi-Wan agreed warmly as Anakin pressed up against him.

As he did, he felt something of hard metal in the others belt. ‘Huh… that feels like a holocron.’ He blinked curiously before getting distracted as Feemor suddenly grabbed him from behind and lifted the boy up on his shoulders, joining the three with a happy greeting.


	22. Mistress

Hugging Anakin tightly, Obi-Wan rubbed his back. “Sleep well Anakin.” He murmured quietly and chuckled when the boy yawned, pushing him away from the couch.

“Night Obi…” Anakin mumbled, stumbling off to bed.

Honestly he had been awake much to long and Obi-Wan was sure he was going to hear about that from Qui-Gon when they meet up tomorrow because there was no way Anakin wasn’t going to show signs of how tired he was.

Settling on the couch with his legs pulled up under him and a few pillows suited behind his back, Obi-Wan started to read a magazine, keeping a tab on his to be apprentice through their bond.

Finally though the boy was deeply asleep.

‘Its time.’ Obi-Wan breathed out threw the gossip mag onto the table, standing up and moving to the door. He locked it down and then moved to the window of their living room, pulling the curtains down.

All ways to peek in or entrances covered, Obi-Wan slipped down on his knees on his purple meditation mat, an expensive gift from Yan and pulled out the triangle holocron he carried with him everywhere, its silver and red material glittering in the dim light of the living room.

It activated at his thought, floating up into the air while turning and opening, an image of a pale woman in black robes appearing in front of him, her hair done up ornately with black ties.

“Mistress.” Obi-Wan greeted respectfully.

“Ah, young Obi-Wan, I was wondering when you would contact me again since its been quite some time since last,” Darth Traya murmured, a small smile on her face. “And I’ve told you before to call me Kreia.” She scolded sternly.

Chuckling quietly, Obi-Wan inclined his head. “Yes ma'am but one such as you deserve the respect I can give you.” He replied strongly, his conviction on this unshakable.

A pleased little smirk crossed the black lips before she hummed. “Well then, how far have you come in recovering your memories? Have you managed to progress in combining your Jedi gained skills with your old Sith ones?” She asked curiously, sitting down on an invisible chair where she elegantly lifted a leg over her knee, her hands resting on her lap.

“I have,” Obi-Wan replied eagerly, finally having someone to speak to about this. He knew that Qui-Gon wasn’t too impressed by it though Obi-Wan had hoped… but maybe Qui-Gon’s hate towards the Jedi were to consuming for him to even consider how Obi-Wan could work the skills he had learned. “Its slow of course but thanks to the Jedi meditation technique I learned and some of the deeper Sith ones, I have managed to drag a few long forgotten memories out by going deep into my own mindscape.” He explained to her.

Nodding in interest, Kreia rubbed her chin slowly. “Interesting, yes I can see how that would work. The Jedi could keep themselves calm during meditation while the Sith would go deep, combining the method… yes very good young one. You impress me once more.”

Obi-Wan glowed at the praise, feeling…

Well he felt lucky that he had found Darth Traya’s holocron, a version before she was betrayed by her apprentices and came to abhor both Orders. He was rather sure she wouldn’t be as helpful if it was the later version after Sion and Nihilus betrayal of her.

He couldn’t image what it felt like to have the Force stripped like they had done to her…

“What are you thinking my dear?” Obi-Wan lifted his head, blinking at Kreia as she raised a brow at him.

Quirking his lips, Obi-Wan shrugged a bit, her holocron floating above his open palm. “Just how lucky I am. I may have gone through an unfortunate series of events… but I overcame them, I’m still here despite it all and I’ll recover what was lost to me,” He looked around. “After all… I’m home again.” He said softly, smiling when Kreia laughed quietly at him in understanding.


	23. Adjustment

The holocron bounced against his hip as he bore it openly alongside his saber, a small smile on his lips as he passed several Sith.

Some of them only nodded while other had a knee jerk reaction to seeing the former amnesiac abductive with what was clearly a Sith holocron on his belt as he moved about. Obi-Wan knew that some members were still suspicious of him but those who really mattered, Qui-Gon, Yan, Feemor, Xanatos and Anakin, they trusted him with no suspicion and only worry for his health attached.

The combination of Jedi meditation and Sith techniques were also aiding him in recovering his memories slowly and steadily and for all the pain it had brought people, Obi-Wan couldn’t help but be a tiny bit grateful.

Grueling and clinical as it had been, his Jedi training was proving to be quite useful.

Especially when training Anakin because that little troll was proving to be quite the handful as he was a clumsy little thing, his body growing and therefor sending him tumbling ass over heels quite often if he rushed or during sparrings.

If Obi-Wan was to take a guess, he would be choosing the form ataru for the young man with his high energy levels but maybe… shien might fit him better.

Anakin could be aggressive, he didn’t like to lay in wait and ambush and preferred to create his own openings to attack.

Yes the way of the krayt dragon could do him better, a mix of defensiveness and yet also combined with attack that would stop him from becoming restless and Obi-Wan was sure if he asked one of the battle masters of the temple then he could be taught.

Or at least lay the foundation for Anakin so he could later on choose if he would go with the classical shien form or develop it further for djem so.

One was more suited for blocking blasts while the other was more for blade to blade battle.

‘It wouldn’t be so bad to teach him both.’ Obi-Wan mused to himself as he finally arrived at the language classrooms, knowing that Anakin and his class were getting tested on huttese and he was rather sure, thanks to the blonds unfortunate past, that Anakin was going to be quick and brilliant in the spoken version of the test.

His spelling might need work however and would take longer time.

But still, Obi-Wan would rather know what he would need to work on further with his apprentice and a good basic in huttese would allow Anakin to learn both aqualish and rodian easier since the structured similarities in the languages were very similiar and he grinned brightly when the door opened to let the class out finally, Anakin following Dara out with a gloomy look on his face only for the blond to brighten up when he saw Obi-Wan.

“Master!” He cheered, pulling from the pack of classmates to race into Obi-Wan’s chest.

Wrapping his arms around the boy, Obi-Wan chortled, eyes flashing yellow unknowingly and comforting a few of the Sith watching. “Hello there little troll, I’ve come to drag you to train.” He teased gently, laughing when the boy groaned.

“Please tell me we’re doing saber practice, my butt is numb!” Anakin stared up at him with wide eyes. “We’ve been testing for two hours and I swear my butt is going to fall off if I have to sit more.”

Poking the boy in the forehead, Obi-Wan smirked. “Patience is a virtue, you may have to remain still for much longer come ambush missions but luckily for you, we are indeed going to do saber practice as I think I know which form to teach you finally.” He teased warmly, his smirk softening to a gentle smile at Anakin’s excitement.

“You do!?” Anakin latched onto Obi-Wan’s hand and pulled him, eager to get to one of the sparring salle.

Letting the boy pull him along, Obi-Wan felt the warmth of the sun through windows and the chattering of Sith around them, a sense of peace and safety settling in his bones.

He was home with his family surrounding him and he was finally, _finally_ free to be who and what he was.


End file.
